You need gift ideas and you're starting to panic.
Throw some bourbon in that eggnog, pull up a chair and consider these possibilities:




Personalized books have come a long way from the days when they cut and paste in a child's name, address and birthdate from the order form.
Sample text from an actual personalized book in our possession:

"Then Buzz saw BONO. "Hey, a new toy! What's your name?"
"I'm BONO," said BONO.
"Do you live here now?" asked Buzz.
"No, I live at 4801 HAPPY LANES in PLEASANTVILLE, MICHIGAN. Somehow I've become a toy like you."

Printakid infuses the personalized information provided seamlessly and without the annoying filled-in-the blank quality. As an added bonus, family member names are requested so you can give yourself a starring role!
But that's not the only change. Printakid also creates a cartoon drawing of your main character child and puts him/her in every illustration on each page, unlike the Toy Store book of ours where BONO appeared only in the text and was invisible in the pictures.
There is a Christmas story and CD available for $39.98 but to be guaranteed delivery by the 22nd, orders had to be in by..........December 8th. I'm never sure if that means orders should have been in yesterday or by the end of today, but I'm unusually lucky with deliveries so I'd go for it.




Personalized stationary makes kids and grownups feel like super stars. Just Jen Designs has lovely notecard sets ($8 for 8) or notepads ($5 for 40 page pad) just waiting for your swirly twirley moniker to be printed in one of her six awesome fonts. This is a great gift idea for teachers, babysitters, or day care providers, just add a nice pen and be a hero, done and done!
(Spousal hint: I'd like some that say: Camper's Mom, Bucky's Mom, Bono's Mom, and Dirt Monkey's Mom for my correspondence with teachers, coaches and other parents.)
As an added bonus, any custom stationary ordered byDecember 15th gets a set of four signature cards added to it, absolutely free. It's like a little reward just for being awesome!




Let's face it, even if you're not Hilton-rich, most everyone's material goods cup already tends to runneth over, necessitating mops, buckets, cleansers and then storage facilities for everything.
How about giving gifts that are delicious and that eventually....... go away?

Michigan is home to American Spoon Foods, a company that combines fresh ingredients with a sprinkling of love and seals it in a jar.
I've been to their shops in Petoskey and Harbor Springs and can vouch for the deliciousity of all their products because they are crazy enough to have free samples of EVERYTHING and I am smart enough to realize products samples=bargain meal on the road.
Your recipients breakfast toast will never be the same and they will thank you for it. (Prices start at $6.95)




With a name like: The Grand Traverse Pie Company you CANNOT go wrong.
I am so in love with their pies (To clarify: in love meaning the healthy, want-to-eat-until-I explode-way and not the digusting American Pie movie version of loving a pie) I won't even seek restitution for their using my likeness as a mascot.
These pies ain't cheap ($24.95 for one) but they are a generous size and come in a reusable retro-style tin pie plate. They also sell jellies and sauces, but you can never go wrong with pie.
Three mini pies are $30 if you just can't choose just one.
(Long Lake Cherry Berry gets the Susie Sunshine Seal of Approval.)

When a new department store opens with fantastic grand opening sales AND sends me a $25 gift card, I'll put it towards allergen reducing mattress covers and a handheld vacuum cleaner over new shoes because I am an executive housewife.
(I gave myself a promotion as Dirt Monkey's potty prowess made my last self-bestowed title: Director of Butt Wipings, no longer applicable.)

It stands to reason that companies would want to send products to an executive-level underpaid kept woman to see if they pass my professional scrutiny. However, unlike places like this who pay bloggers to say good thing about their products, I swear upon my kickass mascara that I will give as honest and unfiltered feedback on free samples as I do on products purchased with my husband's hard-earned paycheck.
Because I might be free, but that doesn't mean I'm easy, people.



Clorox UltimateCare Premium Bleach: I was sent a free bottle and it is some seriously great shit. So great that when the bottle was getting light, I made a special trip out ON A SATURDAY of a home football game to get more and if that doesn't spell l-o-v-e to you, you've never experience shopping in a college town on a weekend.

This stuff is thick and not as splashy as plain bleach (bonus for the non-gazelle types such as myself) with a very mild fragrance. We are a very fragrance-free household because scented products bother Dr. B and I hate it. My clothes smell pretty much the same coming out of the dryer as they did going in the washing machine, which sucks the joy right out of laundry time.
CUCB's fragrance was so subtle it didn't bother Dr. B. and I can once again enjoy a light, clean laundry smell. Thanks, Clorox!
I don't normally use fabric softener and in a blind folding test, Dr. B consistently picked the towels washed with UltimateCare as being softer than those washed without. It was also a nifty trick to get him to fold the laundry, thanks again, Clorox!
It's almost magical- a bleach with less stink that adds softness. How about adding some of that technology to disposal diapers, people?!



Clorox UltimateCare Premium Bleach- the annoyingly named product no laundry room should be without.
Susie's rating: Ten soccer mom minivans.